so recently there was a big argument over which microwavable snack was better… pizza rolls or bagel bites… and after a long discussion it was suggested that a bracket be made… so here it is… microwaveable march madness…

now to set this up i should explain that this will be a relatively small bracket (8 late night microwaveable snacks)… there are two regions (parma and bedford… if you are wondering why parma and bedford it is because these are the two places in which most of my late night snacking experience has taken place)… each region has 4 seeds and here we go…

Parma Region

1 pizza rolls vs. 4 hot pockets

at first glance these two items can seem very similar… but once you take a closer look you see that this isn’t even close… now hot pockets are good… if you’re into the world’s worst mystery meat paste surrounded by a horrible attempt at a calzone crust… let’s just leave hot pockets to those people that are looking to eat someone elses pizza vomit wrapped in dough… pizza rolls advance easily…

2 ramen noodles vs. 3 micro magic french fries

ramen noodles (pronounced ray-min) is a college favorite… a potential number one seed when you think about it’s multiple uses in things such as aunt jos’s oriental chicken salad (at which point it’s pronounced rah-men)… and let’s face it… who hasn’t had ramen noodles?… they’re popularity is not even close to matched by micro magic… but does that give them the win?… i say no… you see there’s something to be said for the pure simple magic of microwaveable french fries that come out slightly crispy… how they are not soft and mushy i have no idea… it’s like a small miracle every time these tasty treats are made… and that’s why micro magic pulls the upset and moves on to the next round…

Bedford Region

1 popcorn vs. 4 chicken nuggets

now chicken nuggets are good… even great when done right… but that’s the problem right there… they have to be done right… for the chicken nuggets to have the full effect they should really be cooked in the oven… therefore they pale in comparison to maybe the most popular microwaveable snack of all time… popcorn cruises on…

2 bagel bites vs. 3 easy mac

at one point these seeds may have been switched… easy mac was really popular for a while… but then people wised up and realized that this mac’n’cheese was not even close to the stuff they were cooking in five minutes on the stove… so easy mac has got the blues… the kraft macaroni and cheese blues… but they get no blue ribbon… bagel bites move on…

Round 2

Parma Region

1 pizza rolls vs. 3 micro magic french fries

i feel compelled to eliminate micro magic right now due to the fact that i don’t feel like typing their name anymore… but that would be as dirty as giving rasheed wallace a tech because you’re sick of looking at that stupid spot in his hair… so here’s the real reason micro magic bites the dust… they’re taking on pizza rolls… the power house of microwaveable snacks… and no matter how much magic these french fries can muster up they won’t have the taste texture or sex appeal of those tiny little pizza pillows… pizza rolls roll on to the ‘ship…

Bedford Region

1 popcorn vs. 2 bagel bites

popcorn is arguable the most popular microwave snack there is… it’s in nearly every household and the only snack on our list to be sold at movie theaters (if someone has proof of one of the other items being sold at a movie theater i would love to see it and accompany them on an easy mac ‘n’ movie date)… but there’s a downside to popcorn too… the kernels reek all kind of havoc on your mouth… and on your psyche if you’re like me and see each unpopped kernel as a missed opportunity… so while popcorn may be the most popular microwave snack of all time the bagel bites take down the top seed and advance to the finals…

CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH-UP

pizza rolls vs. bagel bites

here it is… the match-up everyone’s been waiting for… the best of the best in pizza snacking (putting to shame pizza pringles and pizza combos)… these delectable delicacies of the dorks each have paid their dues to get here… so lets start with bagel bites… these bad boys are known for their tough texture which is made possible by the nifty little make-shift rack that comes standard with every package sold… and lets face it… everyone knows that you can have pizza in the morning… pizza in the evenin’… pizza at supper time… cuz when pizza’s on a bagel… you can eat pizza anytime… but why would you want to eat pizza bagels when you have access to pizza rolls… these midnight micro meals bring with them an addictive taste unmatched by any other microwaveable snack… the corners of their crust alone can have Pavlovian effects on even the strongest willed consumer (and anyone who has had a pizza roll knows this because there is no better way to avoid the magma like filling of a pizza pocket than to nibble at the corners)… so when it comes down to it the superior taste, texture, look, and microwave-ability all belong to pizza rolls… our champion of Microwaveable March Madness… and if you have a problem with that you can stick it in your microwave and nuke it…

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Top Ten Boy Meets World Moments…

10… frankie reveals his soft side for the first time by reciting a poem…

9… the intro

8… mr. matthews wakes cory up to watch curt schilling throw a no-hitter… i look at this moment as a symbol of how i want to handle my future parenting…

7… eric mathews signs on for part-time modeling … only to find out that he is the mascot for mall food…

6… topanga!

5… shawn and minkus switch roles for a homework assignment and both learn valuable life lessons from the others perspective…

4… eric hides in the bakery case while stalking topanga

3… anytime eric says “feen-ay!”…

2… frankie reveals his dad to be the WWE (WWF at the time) wrestler “Vader“…

1… when there’s a crime out there… he’ll be combin’ his hair

muppets-band-kevin-youkiliskevin-youkilis

this time of the college basketball season is always built up to be so magical… the big dance is just around the corner and every team has the hope of winning a few games and getting an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament… so all the analysts and announcers go crazy making every game into the biggest match-up of the century… but really what do these games mean?…

like today there was the match-up between northern iowa and illinois state… and the entire time the announcers kept playing it up like the team that won was gonna change the tournament… but lets be honest… this match-up has the impact and entertainment value of a week 2 seahawks/49ers match-up… whichever team wins is just gonna get crushed by a powerhouse in the first round and everybody will watch and nobody will care… but hey who am i to take the excitement out of their opening round game in the NCAA tournament?… where they still believe they have a chance to win until the number 11 team in the big east goes up by 15 in the first 3 minutes…

so for the next week and a half or so i’ll have to tune out while every “expert” on espn tries to convince me that tonights match-up between kent and akron is the celtics/lakers reincarnated… no sir… al fisher is not magic johnson…

create a caption…

March 8, 2009

Kobe McHaleokay… i know this has been done many times before but i almost always enjoy it… so… much like the game Domo just create a caption for the picture…

super saiyan/sonic?…

March 3, 2009



i don’t know why i never put this together but how come super saiyans are so similar to super sonic?… and which one was made first?… and which one is better?… and why?… also… does anyone else feel that both have completely meaningless existences?…ssbroly_anime

so on this weeks episode of psych sean’s mom tells him not to cancel his date even though he had just spent his day chasing a serial killer and says that he must “go see about a girl”… this is an obvious reference to robin williams’ character’s famous line in good will hunting… but i know this is not only from that… the line in good will hunting is referencing something else and i can’t figure out what… now at the end of this episode of psych they were watching a WC Fields film… and i am inclined to say that this reference could be from one of his works… but who knows… can anyone offer any help?…


this weekend (as i do every weekend) i spent a little bit of time catching up on the tv shows that i am hopelessly addicted to thanks to the magic of the internet… namely hulu… and i usually just kind of zone out as i go through the usual routine… but this week’s episode of psych got me… the plot itself was a little over the top for psych but there were points in which i found myself thinking that maybe i actually like this show for more than the well written humor of the main charater and of course the great comedic stylings of dule hill… i think i have become attached to the characters… which would normally be insignificant but recent events have affected that… you see… while playing the action packed video game “worms” it was brought to my attention that i become emotionally invested in all of my worm soldiers and strategize accordingly… so now i am forced to look at myself and ask questions such as: do i become emotionally attached too easily?… how does this affect my life?… has my affection for the worm soldier “fluff” become too serious?… could this tendency to become attached explain why i enjoy the NBA so much more than the NFL or MLB?… and would i enjoy tv or movies quite so much if it weren’t for this?… anyways… maybe this odd behavior is a curse… maybe it’s a blessing… either way i must now live my life with caution due to the fact that i could become emotionally attached to anyone or anything at any moment…